Baron Von Pefa
Or...how Patti and Jeane spent an entire Saturday...
Baron Von Pefa, a young Peregrine Falcon following the great river of migrating birds down the Mississippi flyway, suddenly grew tired of the cold weather, and decided to hasten his journey South with a plane ride.
Baron chose to land once he found still-green trees on this mid-October day. Having arrived from the Far North, he was happy to find this lingering summer, and admired the one tree brave enough to begin its foray into nakedness.
Baron Von Pefa found a small waterfall in which to freshen up after his travels, and felt hungry after his bath.
He found a grocery...being royalty, the Baron had a small income with which to supplement his diet. He didn't yet know this place in which he had landed, and a bit of bologna would do nicely to satisfy his immediate needs.
Baron found a small birdhouse on which to rest, preen, and doze. He noted that this box would be too small for his eventual nesting place, but would provide shelter during his stay if needed.
Refreshed, Baron flew to the library. He discovered, courtesy of the librarian, that he had landed in Louisville, Kentucky, a green and wondrous place, with an easy route to the flyway. Baron studied a few books to learn about the prey he might find and the competition he might encounter here. Since Baron's nest seemed quite crowded, he was shocked to learn that he is a rare bird!
On the librarian's suggestion, Baron began to explore the local landmarks, beginning with the Olmsted-designed Cherokee Park. Having stuffed himself at the grocery, Baron felt no great compulsion to hunt. However, a loitering vagrant disturbed his rest.
The vagrant, whose named turned out to be Patti, offered to introduce Baron to the playground, and even gave Baron a push on the swing. Baron was impressed with Patti's kindness, and felt a stirring of sympathy when he learned that the park bench would be her bed for the night. He tried to shake this feeling, since as a predator at the top of his food chain, he could ill afford sentimentality. He tried to focus on the fun, but found that the sliding board was not nearly so thrilling as a good fast stoop.
Baron moved on through the park, and could not resist stooping on a poor Goldfinch below Daniel Boone. In spite of his tremendous skill in the air, Baron came up empty-taloned.
Because of the persistence of the long summer, Baron found that the only leaves on the ground were those still attached to their trees, courtesy of Hurricane Ike. Baron realized this might be a good place to catch a luckless, spider-hungry wren.
Patti offered to show Baron around Old Louisville, a historic preservation district that was once home to the city's wealthiest residents. Baron enjoyed the cooling mist from the fountain at St. James Court.
Having been unsuccessful on his hunts, Baron chose to take advantage of his wealth and treat Patti to lunch at McDonalds. Patti introduced Baron to other members of the homeless community, including her friend Jeane.
After lunch, he continued following the tour the librarian had suggested, stopping next at City Hall, replete with farm-animal gargoyles.
Baron wandered Main street; he found many great wonders there, including giant red penguins, a dragon, and the Louisville Slugger Musuem. There Baron learned that many children play baseball, which Baron found satisfying, but was dismayed to learn of the outrageous salaries earned by professional players. Though Baron was a member of the nobility himself, he was of an egalitarian bent.
Suddenly Baron heard e-chupping, and was shocked to find a squirrel instead of another Peregrine. The squirrel spoke Baron's language, and introduced himself as Siddhartha the Wise Squirrel. Siddhartha had followed Baron's travels in Louisville, and had noticed the stirrings of compassion and antipathy toward injustice, and felt that Baron was on the verge of a great awakening. Said Siddhartha, "you must seek the Guru Pakhi of the Purple Jacket, who will instruct you in your search for wisdom. Then you will return to me."
Though Baron was quite stunned by this odd communication, he sought out Guru Pakhi. She instructed him to "travel across the high seas to a foreign land where there is hope for change. This perilous journey will prepare you to open your heart. You must find two birds who will guide you further."
Baron flew to the waterfront, and found a great sea with the foreign country of Indiana on the horizon. Baron flew for hours, and when nearly broken with exhaustion, finished the journey as a hitchiker on a steamship.
Baron immediately found two herons at the Falls of the Ohio, but they wouldn't talk to him. Discouraged, he continued on.
Finally he encountered two Turkey Vultures, who shared their meal with him. "We provide a valuable service to the planet by disposing of carrion, and in this way we avoid killing other creatures. You would do well to learn from our example. Now you must return to Kentucky and seek counsel from Siddhartha."
Baron landed back on Louisville's waterfront where he, always hungry for knowledge and a great reader of historical plaques, learned that George Rogers Clark is considered the founder of Louisville, and Clark's brother William compelled his slave York to follow him on the Lewis and Clark expedition. Though Baron's eye was initially captured by York's duck, he found himself reading the story with great interest. This was the first he had learned of the existence of slavery, and found himself overwhelmed with compassion for this slave and outraged by the injustice of it.
As he continued in search of Siddhartha, he discovered a monument to Kentucky's Civil War dead, and found the military ramrod a good perch. He learned that many lives were lost in this war, but that the Union's victory allowed a great Kentuckian, Abraham Lincoln, to emancipate the slaves. Baron rejoiced to learn this news.
Baron continued to the park where he believed he would find Siddhartha the Wise Squirrel, and found instead a Red-Tailed Hawk intent on having Siddhartha for dinner. Baron engaged the hawk in a fierce battle to save his friend Siddhartha, and the hawk went packing.
"You have journeyed far, proven yourself worthy of my friendship by protecting me from my would-be predator, and learned that great injustices can crumble in the face of great compassion. You must cultivate your newfound compassion; I will teach you how to survive without killing." And so the lessons began for Baron.
Baron had heard that compassion is taught in churches, and he visited several...but felt dissatisfied.
Finally, deciding that he was more of a Secular Avianist, Baron found a sanctuary more to his liking, where he attempted to prey...er...pray.
Baron faced his first temptation, a pigeon on a turret, but met it with great resolve. With the squirrel's help, Baron was learning a new way of eating. He vowed that no more birds would die at the end of his talons.
He investigated this garden for nuts, and found many pleasing ones. His brother Zephyr had taught him that chasing butterflies can be dangerous, so he approached this one cautiously, introducing himself and feeling his heart swell with her beauty.
Baron then searched a flower bed for seeds, and found many tasty dogwood berries that had fallen to the ground.
Baron suddenly found himself staggering in the air, and in addition to pink elephants, Baron saw red and white deer. A Cedar Waxwing later enlightened him, "eating slightly fermented berries can have mind-altering effects." Baron made a mental note to thank Siddhartha for leaving out this crucial detail.
Tired of the foraging, Baron decided that a stop at the grocery for some vegetables would meet the noble goal of sending his great wealth into the community.
Baron attempted to spread his message of Vegetarianism to other carnivores, but though these two listened attentively, they ignored his advice entirely. Baron returned the favor by ignoring their advice to add Yoga to his daily meditations; he found himself incapable of mastering the poses they taught him.
Baron began a crusade to convert other Peregrines to vegetarianism, a quixotic quest, certainly, but one which gave his life meaning. He believed he was building a groundswell of change!
His education complete, Baron prepared to leave Louisville for parts further South. He bid goodbye to the vagrant Patti and her dangerously overeducated friend Jeane. He treated them to pizza (vegetarian, of course) in appreciation for their hospitality during his Louisville stay, and Patti's part in awakening him to empathy. Goodbye, Baron!